Amma's Funeral

Amma's funeral was a simple and beautiful ceremony. She always said she never wanted an elaborate funeral so I suppose she partly got her wish. But her family, who were heartbroken at her sudden demise, made sure she had a grand send off. We kept her at home for 3 nights and on the morning of Vik and Shan's 42nd birthday, Friday the 22nd of March, we had to bid her farewell. We had to wait for Vik who could only arrive on Thursday so we had a little more time before we had to say our final goodbye. 

She lay in the middle of the living room and was surrounded by a sea of flowers. The wall on the far right was completely covered with beautiful, elaborate wreaths which were sent by family and friends. There was a constant stream of visitors to pay their last respects. Amma might have been a recluse in the later part of her life but friends and relatives who had not seen her for a long time came to pay their respects. It felt like a true lying in state meant for dignitaries. Even when she was no longer physically there, her picture stayed in the same position for 31 days. Everyone said she looked so peaceful. The picture was a true reflection of her, always smiling and serene looking. 

White was the colour of the day and most of us tried to find something in white to wear. Soon the prayers started and everyone in the family took part. All her grandchildren took part and it was a sombre and sad farewell to our beloved amma. We sprinkled kunggumum, vibuthi and red rose petals at her feet and around her. Finally the Sivapuranam was recited and we prayed that her soul would be at peace and she would have a safe journey, with the blessings of Lord Siva.

Dharan, Davinia and I sat in silence as we followed the hearse bearing amma's coffin. I played the Kanda Shashti Kavasam and hoped that it would be a source of comfort to amma and the 3 of us.  She had a fleet of cars and 2 police outriders accompanying her to the crematorium in Kelana Jaya. I was determined to be there with her right till the end. It would be my first time at a crematorium. I thought the prayers were so poignant and meaningful and nothing at all to be afraid off. Why then were women not allowed to go? 

More flowers were placed in the coffin and mantras were chanted. Jerry and another lady from the Temple of Fine Arts, chanted a mantra for 21 times. She was then wheeled inside and her coffin was placed in the huge oven like chamber while we silently prayed and said our final goodbye. The metal door came sliding down and we could no longer see the coffin. I wished with all my heart that she was not afraid and had appa to take her away. We heard the flames being turned up and as we turned to leave, Jerry told us to wait. The metal door slid up a little and we had one final glance of the fiery heat of the flames that had started to engulf the coffin with amma's remains. And then the metal door was brought down one final time. 

It was finally over and we went home with a hollow feeling in our hearts. Although amma's body was no longer, she would always live in all of us through a million memories. 

We are still trying to come to terms with our immense loss. Although it is clear that we will never get over losing her. 
Today is exactly 2 months since she left us. 

 Eliza Maria, a lovely, young girl lost her fight with cancer this morning. She fought a hard and long battle and finally succumbed to this dreaded disease. May her soul rest in peace.

Please light a candle and say a prayer for her.